Using problem focused coaching to overcome internal barriers
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Rehabilitate: redemption
Rehabilitating leaders to their full potential using Boss Whispering
Introducing Boss Whispering
Occasionally, we can experience leaders that use aggression to get their objectives met. These leaders cause suffering in the workplace and damage organisational functioning as morale drops and people avoid working with them.
Abrasive leaders are challenging to manage. They are high performers that management don't want to lose and it's not at all clear how and whether they can change. Managers are often afraid of upsetting them and assume that change is impossible and that the only option is to fire them.
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However, there is a way of helping them change, reducing workplace suffering and retaining their valuable skills.
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Over the last three decades, research and practice in the USA has shown that redemption is possible and that abrasive leaders can change their ways. Boss Whispering is new here and succeeds in turning round abrasive behaviour 83% of the time.
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Boss Whispering is a structured process of helping abrasive leaders understand how they are perceived and then work to turn around these perceptions by changing their behaviour.​​
How the process works
The surprising truth about abrasive leaders
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Contrary to the confident image they project, abrasive leaders are insecure. They throw their weight around because they think that someone else's performance will affect theirs, which they are highly anxious about. And despite the myth that they enjoy causing suffering, abrasive leaders are actually clueless about the impact they have on others.
Motivating them to change
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The first step of Boss Whispering is for their manager to put the leader under pressure. This means spelling out that conduct needs to improve or there will be consequences. And then offering the abrasive leader help to change their ways. Boss Whispering includes coaching the manager on the most effective way to do this.
Secondly, the leader needs to understand how they are perceived by colleagues. Their colleagues are confidentially interviewed to identify what the perceptions are of the leader. When the leader receives the summary anonymised report it is a huge blow, because they have no idea how negatively they are viewed. This, combined with their anxiety about performance and pressure from their manager, gives them motivation to change and engage actively in the coaching phase of the Boss Whispering process.
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The leader then works with the coach to diagnose what causes these negative perceptions and identify how they can behave differently to eliminate them in the future. Boss Whispering is coaching the leader to learn empathy and to be more empowering.
Strategic impact
Clearly this is reactive work, tackling one abrasive leader at a time. But it is also strategic because of the long term benefits and impact on the firm's culture and leadership.
When a firm talks about inclusion but tolerates abrasive behaviour, it makes leadership look weak and hypocritical. When abrasive leaders are senior they are role models for acceptable conduct. This damages morale, retention, discretionary effort and culture. Abrasive leaders are usually high performers in all other ways, so firms are also understandably reluctant to lose their contribution. Where an abrasive leader is in mid career, they have decades ahead where, if helped, they can now be achieving their objectives without upsetting colleagues.
Tackling individual instances of abrasive behaviour therefore brings benefits to everyone. The individual is given honest insight and helped to rectify a huge risk to their future career. Their colleagues are now treated respectfully encouraging them to stay and work hard. Leadership regain their authority, the culture of the firm becomes more inclusive and regulatory and legal risks are eliminated.